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I remembered that Jeff had told me he had acousin that went through the same things I was going through!"Jill, your heart says you a girl and your mind says no, you're a boy,right?" She got a nod of the head. "And you like a boy that likes youback." Another nod of the head. "Jill, sometime, soon, you are going tohave to declare yourself. I mean, you have to admit, first to yourselffor a start, and others later, that you are what you are. That meansthat your friends will all know. The school will know, other parentswill know. It can get ugly and nasty if you let them set the tone. Ifyou are the one to stand up and declare yourself then you tend to takeaway the fire so to speak. I know. I did it myself. Like you, I wasstarting my senior year in high school. Most of the kids didn't care,some, the usual assholes, gave me a hard time for a while but thatstopped because I ignored them. Jill, if this is right for you and youknow it is, then act on it. Don't give up on yourself, fight back!. I was craving attention, and I had nobody to give me the attention I so desperately wanted, until my whole life changed.It was my son’s birthday and with money being short I couldn’t take him out to the places I thought he would want to go, being an 8 year old I imagined he would want fun fairs or quad bikes, but to my surprise when I asked him where he would like to go he said he would love me to take him swimming, my first thought was “Oh my god, me in a swimsuit, how can I get out of this” at 5’4 and weighing too many stone to write I was dreading it. But this was my son’s birthday, so I gritted my teeth and said, “Ok no problem we’ll go after school”. If you could have seen his face, he was beaming.We arrived at the pool and my stomach was doing flip flops my son was so excited about getting me in the pool but I couldn’t match his enthusiasm no matter how hard I tried. We got changed and I caught sight of myself in the mirror, I nearly went back into the changing rooms. I.
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